Wednesday , 17 October 2018
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Interpersonal Skills

“I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than for any other ability under the sun”. – John Rockefeller.


We do not have business problems. We have people problems. When we solve our people problems, our business problems are substantially resolved. People knowledge is more important than product knowledge. One need to build a pleasing personality & it is a combination of a person’s attitude, behavior, & expressions. Steps to building a positive & pleasing personality are as under.


Step No.1. Accept responsibility. Responsible behavior is to accept accountability & that represents maturity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our attitude & the environment we operate in.


Step No.2. Show consideration, courtesy, & politeness. Thoughtfulness shows a caring attitude. The more considerate we are, the more courtesy one extends & the more polite we are towards people we automatically come close to people.


Step No.3. Think win/win. When we think of serving our customers, our families, our employers, employees, colleagues we automatically win. One need to create a win / win situation & the result shall culminate into happiness, prosperity, enjoyment & gratification because they are not thinking of themselves alone.


Step No.4. Choose what you say rather than say what you choose. That is the difference between wisdom & foolishness. A fool speaks without thinking; a wise man thinks before speaking. One particular word spoken can cause irreparable damage, so whenever you utter any word visualize its consequences. Spoken words cannot be retrieved.


Step No.5. Don’t criticize & complain. Criticize with a spirit of helpfulness rather than as a put-down. Criticize the behavior, not the person because when we criticize the person, we hurt their self esteem.


Step No.6. Smile & be kind. It happens in a flash, & the memory of it may last forever. Cheerfulness flows from goodness. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. It is easier to smile than to frown. Smile often & make it a habit.


Step No.7. Put positive interpretation on other people’s behavior. In the absence of sufficient facts, people instinctively put a negative interpretation on others’ actions or inactions. For example, how often have we put through a call & not gotten a reply from the other party for 2 days & the first thought that comes to our mind is “They ignored me.”


Step No.8. Be a good listener. Listening shows caring. When you show a caring attitude towards another person, that person feels important. When he feels important, what happens? He is more motivated & more receptive to your ideas.


Step No.9. Live while you are alive. Don’t die before you are dead. Enthusiasm & desire are what change mediocrity to excellence. Water turns into steam with a difference of only 1 degree in temperature & steam can move some of the biggest engines in the world. That is what enthusiasm helps us to do in our lives.


Step No. 10. Give honest & sincere appreciation. Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another person. It makes a person feel important. The desire to feel important is one of the greatest cravings in most human beings. It can be a great motivator.


Step No. 11. When we make a mistake, we should accept it immediately & willingly. Some people live & learn while others live & never learn. Mistakes are to be learned from. The greatest mistake a person can make is to repeat it. A mistake is a mistake if it is committed twice.


Step No. 12. Discuss but don’t argue. Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins, the cost may be more than the victory is worth. It will take you nowhere & the more you argue with people, the more they distance away from you. Emotional battles leave a residual ill will even if you win.


Step No. 13. Don’t gossip. A gossip never minds his own business because he neither has a mind nor a business. A gossip is more concerned about what he overhears than what he hears. Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid.


Step No. 14. Turn your promises into commitments. A commitment is a promise that is going to be kept no matter what. Commitment comes out of character & leads to conviction.


  • The quality of your life will be determined by the depth of your commitment to excellence, no matter what your chosen field.


Step No. 15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude. Gratitude is a feeling. It improves our personality & builds character. Gratitude develops out of humility. It is a feeling of thankfulness towards others. Think of your most precious possessions. What makes them special? In most cases, the gift is less significant than the giver. Seldom are we grateful for the things we already possess.


Step No. 16. Be dependable & practice loyalty. Ability is important but dependability is crucial. If you have someone with all the ability but he is not dependable, do you want him as part of your team? No, not at all.


Step No. 17. Avoid bearing grudges. Forgive & forget. When a person refuses to forgive, he is locking doors that someday he might need to open. When we hold grudges & harbor resentment, who are we hurting the most? Ourselves.


Step No. 18. Practice honesty, integrity & sincerity. Honesty inspires openness, reliability, & frankness. It shows respect for one’s self & others. Honesty is in being, not in appearing to be.


Step No. 19. Practice humility. Confidence without humility is arrogance. Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness. Sincere humility attracts but false humility detracts.


Step No. 20. Be understanding & caring. Relationships don’t come about because people are perfect. They come about because of understanding. Practice generosity. It is a sign of emotional maturity. Being generous is being thoughtful & considerate without being asked. Be tactful. Tact is the ability to make a point without alienating the other person.


Step No.21. Practice courtesy on a daily basis. Courtesy is nothing more than consideration for others. It opens doors that would not otherwise open. A courteous person, who is not very sharp, will go further in life than a discourteous but sharp person.


Step No. 22. Develop a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at yourself because it is the safest humor. Laughing at yourself gives you the energy to bounce back.


Step No. 23. Don’t be sarcastic & put others down. Negative people’s humor may include sarcasm, put downs & hurtful remarks. Any humor involving sarcasm that makes fun of others is in poor taste. An injury is forgiven more easily than an insult.

Written By: – I yer Subramanian

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