View all articles by Bobby Marchesso Have you ever been in a position where you wanted to help someone out so bad that you were frustrated because everything you have tried doesn’t work? Or the person doesn’t seem to hear what you’re saying? Often times we feel that there is something more that we either should have done, could be doing or didn’t do. We can find ourselves going around in circles in our thoughts and then punishing ourselves because we couldn’t come up with an answer.
I have to tell you that in my experience, the very fact that you care, you can pretty much trust that you have done all that you could. If you aren’t able to effect a change, please consider that maybe you weren’t meant to in this case.
Or the person isn’t allowing you to help them.
We all know someone that we have tried to help who can’t seem to hear what we are saying. Or they can’t see what’s right in front of them. Some people don’t even want help. I have found that we find comfort in our suffering. It’s safe and there are no surprises.
I think that we have all felt that at one time or another.
So what are the qualities of a good friend, wife, husband, leader or whatever role you are playing in someone’s life?
Be and example. Be an inspiration. It’s not tough to do really. You just have to be, you. Without the Ego getting involved. I believe that we are like a lighthouse in a way. We shine our lights out to sea and whoever is supposed to be drawn to that will come into our path. Some choose not to see it. Others cringe at how bright your light is. While others still, rush to suck up every bit of your power.
But if you notice, Lighthouses don’t dim they’re lights because someone can’t handle it or try to shine brighter because a certain boat isn’t paying attention. It just shines. No matter what the weather is on the outside.
So really, all you have to do is shine without strain, without effort and without thinking about it too much wondering if there is something more you should be doing. Again, the very fact that you have compassion towards a person and care about them enough to want to do something to help them sometimes is enough. They will pick up on that energy and if there is something more to be done then it will present itself.
That’s tough to do though because we want to be in control. We want to make sure that we are doing everything. We even want to control another’s experience. Isn’t that right? Check to see inside of you what you are really feeling when you are trying to help someone else out.
Most of us want three things:
* We Want Security
* We Want Approval and
* We want Control
Sometimes it’s just one of these, sometimes it’s a mixture of all three. If you are not happy with a situation the way that it is, don’t you want it to be different? Do you want to change the outcome? That is what wanting control feels like.
That is an article for another day.
Right now let’s focus again on being the best inspiration that you can be. When you are just being the soul light that you are you are setting an example. Whether you are aware of it or not, the other person will notice. You may not see that difference now, but trust me, you will plant a seed inside of that person and when they are meant to, they will come out of the fog that has been keeping them from seeing the truth.
In my opinion qualities of a good leader are:
* Sets an example and lives what he/she teaches
* Gives permission to other people to just be themselves
* Allows others to follow their path without tainting their experience
* Sends their love and light without getting the ego involved
* Encourages, not demands a shift in another’s perception
I know that this may not be the immediately answer that you were looking for but what makes an inspiring leader? One who lives what they are teaching especially in business. Do you want someone as a boss who practices do what I say and not what I do?
Be a light. Be an example. And through this way you will become everything that everyone needs from you. They will follow their path and you will follow yours.
But I don’t want you to just believe me. Try it for yourself to see if this doesn’t ease some pressure off you in your dealings with other people. After all, if what you’re doing so far isn’t working, would you be willing to try another way?
Be the soul light that you were meant to be and you will both prosper from it.
By- Bobby Marchesso