The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed – Carl Jung
is test of friendship required?
My answer is yes.
Even if your friend has failed in his endeavors it does not matter as you love him despite those limitations. Lots of people do not have courage to taste failure in relationship. They give their unwarranted advice and when the friend fails to take heed they warn of relationship being broken…. awareness certainly can help you if you think how precious a friendship can be despite warts and moles.
The hallmark of a true friend is one who says exactly what he means. If you stop him from doing that he loses his charm and becomes just a hanger-on all due to fault of yours! Remember anybody can say charming things to please and flatter you to gain favours. Only a true friend has the guts to say unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain for your own well-being. Without being afraid of consequences a really true friend prefers the blunt approach for he knows he is doing good to you with a clear conscience.
Commercial relationship usually cannot be a true friendship as when business relationship ends so too the friendship and loyalty. Friend does not need explanation and if you have to explain why you did it and why you are doing it than it is a commercial relationship, not friendship.
Adversity does help to know you friends and level of friendship. Remember the priceless adage; Friend in need is a friend indeed? True a friend helps during difficult times come what may. But sometimes I find when a friend does not help you are extremely disturbed and decide to cut short the relationship. My humble advice is if a friend could not stand by you in adversity, okay, fine. You understand the friendship level. Accept that limitation and live accordingly. Why miss him for lifetime?
The problem with most of us is that we look in others complete friendship while we ourselves are not up to it. I believe not one of us is complete in the world as we have our own shortcomings and deficiencies. We are selfish to a degree and have our own idiosyncrasies. Than why live in search of a complete friend and waste your time? Let us then live and love our friends with all their weaknesses and strengths.
Character is clearer. Never keep friendship with a friend whose character is suspect. Let us not confuse weakness and deficiencies of friendship with lack of character which is more profound. Ponder over what Abraham Linocoln said, Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. It is possible your friend may have a bad reputation thanks to his enemies who have spread rumours and innuendos against him. This sort of character assassination is common nowadays, especially one who is very successful in business or in any other creative art field. It doesn’t mean his character is suspect. Stand by him as it is during such trying times that he looks upon you as a friend.
Single soul dwelling into two different bodies, is a famous proverb. Yes friendship is indeed soul-touching. True friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there when it’s not. It stands until the last breath as an inspiration for others… even after the departure of one of them, the commitment of the other to his friend’s family remains intact. Isn’t that really great!